Life vs. Death

So... If i had to choose between life and death, um, im pretty sure id choose life. And so then why is it that it's so easy for me to be so numb to the act of worship? I dont mean worship as in meeting together as a group of followers and raising our hands and singing praise, i mean worship as in the truest of its meaning. Liveing every minute of every second of everyday as if i were Christ. Doing things that he did, resisting temptations as he did, loving everyone as he did. Why is it so easy for me, for us as Christians, Christ followers to pretend that its okay to not act in that way. Why have we all fallen for this lie that the World plants at our feet everyday. Why are we all SO uneducated about the life that Christ desires for us? Why are we so resistant to the word yet find it completly easy to read something about vampires or wizards? Why do we all feel that we are better than the gospel? What has happened to us to make us think that we can make it without Him? The one that created it all! He is the master of the universe yet we think its okay to forget about him for a while.

I guess thats the beauty of grace. He is God, he has to power to forgive and forget about the things that we've done wrong. The beauty of grace is that he forgives. He accepts us for the uneducated people we are!
Thank you SO much Jesus for loving me the way i am. For seeing me as priceless and full of worth!

Random Facts about ME...

1. i want to someday fall in love
2. i have a fear of being alone
3. i sometimes feel left out
4. i have 6 best friends and live with 3 of them
5. i love to watch football, and tell the players what to do
6. i love playing video games... SO much
7. i love my older brother, but sometimes he can be a jerk
8. i love people, there's not really anyone that i dont like
9. i seem to laugh at everything, even if its not funny
10. i dislike working, but someones gotta make money
11. i like the outdoors when im dressed appropriatly, i dont like to get sweaty when im dressed cute
12. sometimes i enjoy a short run.... but i give up too quickly
13. i drink way too much Dr Pepper and not enough water
14. i dont know what i want to do when i grow up...
15. I want to have 3 kids, 2 girls and a boy, of course the boy first...
16. i enjoy writting.... songs, poems, whatevers on my mind, i seldom share it with anyone tho.
17. i love to be with people pretty much ALL the time
18. if i had to pick between a romance movie and a comedy, comedy all the way.
19. I was born in the wrong century... i am old fashioned, from the way i dress to my music choices, to my movie preference... pretty much all old school
20. i dislike school work SO very much that i often avoid it to the very last minute.... i always find so much better things to do.
21. I sometimes like to pretend that im from England and talk with an accent.


There's so many more things... but i must get back to my homework now.

Lack of Inspiration

"If You want a revolution, you just gotta open your eyes, the truth can be the only solution, look inside the words of life." The Swift

Today I am reminded that i have such good music on my ipod... okay, maybe i was reminded of that about a week ago... but just now this song was on, and it rings so very true! This band is so awesome... they played a few 10 years back at a camp i went to with Mangham Baptist... Apparently no one else has heard of them... but their songs speak so much truth about Christ and the plans he has for us.
Lately i have been in a rough path in my walk with Christ, just alot of mixed feelings about life and the way that its lived and what the right or the wrong thing to do is...
I just have a big weakness for wanting everyone to like me... I need everyone to generally like me, and i dont want to do or not do anything that would make them not like me.. and i know that that is a problem.
Christ has shown me through the people around me.. that love is all that matters, and when i put all my heart into Christ and love everyone else around me, i wont have to question what the right or wrong thing is. It wont be a question.

Well that's enough for today...
LOVE Always...
"I will never again remember their sins and their lawless acts." Hebrews 10:17

I am so overwhelmed....

Growing up definitely sucks.... we all know it, but right now, i just really hate it. For instance, school is just really kicking my butt right now. I don't want to do the work, or study, and i feel so lost. I also have no idea why i'm even in school, so it makes it all the worse.
I have realized that the one thing I am truly happy doing is taking pictures. I love to capture God's beauty in a picture. When i have a camera in my hand taking picture's I am truly joyful. Rather it be pictures of nature, like tree's or flowers, or taking a trip to the park with Shelby taking silly pictures for a class project. I feel like the weight of the world is off of my shoulders when i have a camera in my hand pointing a shooting.
One of the only classes i enjoy is a photography class that i am taking... and I LOVE it! I might get to work in the dark room developing the old fashioned stuff, film! lol
I say all these things to simply say that I am looking for work in taking pictures.... and I'm not that bad at it...
If you know anyone that is looking for someone to take their Senior pictures, or maybe birthday pics, or anything really... just let me know!
I really could use some extra money, and the experience.

These are some of my pictures.....

Inspired...

So i wrote this when i was feeling very bogged down in sin and felt like i couldnt breath... school had just started and i was overwhelmed...

I need your help to get through what i can't. To find what is so long lost. Lord I need your Love to lead me on the path of whats right. I need your touch. Oh your strong hand to slap when when i do wrong, to fix my wrongs and make them right. I am so lost Lord. So buried deep in sin. So far gone Lord... can you heal me again? I know what to do and what to say, but Lord I need you to show me the way. This path I'm walking on might be fun.. but I can't enjoy the ride. Your spirit overwelms me and I feel the guilt. I lost you so long ago, can you bring me back in? I need your strength to carry me through this place thats too far gone. I need your hand to guide me to that place that I call home. God help me, I seem to have lost my way going through this wretched world day by day. Its so easy to get caught up in what they all say. But God I need your grace now to come in and save the day. Lord I am so far gone now, how can I ever get back to what i've lost? I need your love now to hold my heart and set me free. For it was for freedom that you paid that price. For freedom that you gave your life on that cross. Please help me oh God to realize what i've done help me to follow you and forget what i've become. I love you Lord: your grace is enough to take me and fill me up. For i am nothing and you are everything!

Student Life

Umm.. wow!
I came back from student life camp in lookout mountain, Tennessee yesterday. I think i cried more this last week than i ever have. Jesus showed up in a big way in our youth group. While i was gone this summer, our youth went on a 40 day fast and prayed for their parents and family. Even though the fast is over.. our kids are still broken hearted for their parents. On the second night of worship, Chris Brooks spoke about the 2 blind men screaming without being ashamed, "Son of David, DO NOT PASS US BY!" Are we going to be the one's to let Jesus pass our parents, families, and friends by? After worship in church group time Everyone got on their knees and prayed to God for their parents. When they finished praying, mostly all of them got Brian's phone and had the boldness to call their parents and tell them they basically sucked. WOW!
It was my 7th year at camp with this church... and never have i seen something this intense! THANK YOU JESUS!

Utah

So, i am leaving for Utah in about 12 hours.... and I am too excited. I am also kinda very worried cause I am very very tired.... so Please pray for not only our mission team to be great Lights of Jesus. and for our safty but also for me to be the best Jesus i can be... and for endurance, cause like i said... i am TIRED!
Thanks!