Life vs. Death

So... If i had to choose between life and death, um, im pretty sure id choose life. And so then why is it that it's so easy for me to be so numb to the act of worship? I dont mean worship as in meeting together as a group of followers and raising our hands and singing praise, i mean worship as in the truest of its meaning. Liveing every minute of every second of everyday as if i were Christ. Doing things that he did, resisting temptations as he did, loving everyone as he did. Why is it so easy for me, for us as Christians, Christ followers to pretend that its okay to not act in that way. Why have we all fallen for this lie that the World plants at our feet everyday. Why are we all SO uneducated about the life that Christ desires for us? Why are we so resistant to the word yet find it completly easy to read something about vampires or wizards? Why do we all feel that we are better than the gospel? What has happened to us to make us think that we can make it without Him? The one that created it all! He is the master of the universe yet we think its okay to forget about him for a while.

I guess thats the beauty of grace. He is God, he has to power to forgive and forget about the things that we've done wrong. The beauty of grace is that he forgives. He accepts us for the uneducated people we are!
Thank you SO much Jesus for loving me the way i am. For seeing me as priceless and full of worth!

Random Facts about ME...

1. i want to someday fall in love
2. i have a fear of being alone
3. i sometimes feel left out
4. i have 6 best friends and live with 3 of them
5. i love to watch football, and tell the players what to do
6. i love playing video games... SO much
7. i love my older brother, but sometimes he can be a jerk
8. i love people, there's not really anyone that i dont like
9. i seem to laugh at everything, even if its not funny
10. i dislike working, but someones gotta make money
11. i like the outdoors when im dressed appropriatly, i dont like to get sweaty when im dressed cute
12. sometimes i enjoy a short run.... but i give up too quickly
13. i drink way too much Dr Pepper and not enough water
14. i dont know what i want to do when i grow up...
15. I want to have 3 kids, 2 girls and a boy, of course the boy first...
16. i enjoy writting.... songs, poems, whatevers on my mind, i seldom share it with anyone tho.
17. i love to be with people pretty much ALL the time
18. if i had to pick between a romance movie and a comedy, comedy all the way.
19. I was born in the wrong century... i am old fashioned, from the way i dress to my music choices, to my movie preference... pretty much all old school
20. i dislike school work SO very much that i often avoid it to the very last minute.... i always find so much better things to do.
21. I sometimes like to pretend that im from England and talk with an accent.


There's so many more things... but i must get back to my homework now.

Lack of Inspiration

"If You want a revolution, you just gotta open your eyes, the truth can be the only solution, look inside the words of life." The Swift

Today I am reminded that i have such good music on my ipod... okay, maybe i was reminded of that about a week ago... but just now this song was on, and it rings so very true! This band is so awesome... they played a few 10 years back at a camp i went to with Mangham Baptist... Apparently no one else has heard of them... but their songs speak so much truth about Christ and the plans he has for us.
Lately i have been in a rough path in my walk with Christ, just alot of mixed feelings about life and the way that its lived and what the right or the wrong thing to do is...
I just have a big weakness for wanting everyone to like me... I need everyone to generally like me, and i dont want to do or not do anything that would make them not like me.. and i know that that is a problem.
Christ has shown me through the people around me.. that love is all that matters, and when i put all my heart into Christ and love everyone else around me, i wont have to question what the right or wrong thing is. It wont be a question.

Well that's enough for today...
LOVE Always...
"I will never again remember their sins and their lawless acts." Hebrews 10:17

I am so overwhelmed....

Growing up definitely sucks.... we all know it, but right now, i just really hate it. For instance, school is just really kicking my butt right now. I don't want to do the work, or study, and i feel so lost. I also have no idea why i'm even in school, so it makes it all the worse.
I have realized that the one thing I am truly happy doing is taking pictures. I love to capture God's beauty in a picture. When i have a camera in my hand taking picture's I am truly joyful. Rather it be pictures of nature, like tree's or flowers, or taking a trip to the park with Shelby taking silly pictures for a class project. I feel like the weight of the world is off of my shoulders when i have a camera in my hand pointing a shooting.
One of the only classes i enjoy is a photography class that i am taking... and I LOVE it! I might get to work in the dark room developing the old fashioned stuff, film! lol
I say all these things to simply say that I am looking for work in taking pictures.... and I'm not that bad at it...
If you know anyone that is looking for someone to take their Senior pictures, or maybe birthday pics, or anything really... just let me know!
I really could use some extra money, and the experience.

These are some of my pictures.....

Inspired...

So i wrote this when i was feeling very bogged down in sin and felt like i couldnt breath... school had just started and i was overwhelmed...

I need your help to get through what i can't. To find what is so long lost. Lord I need your Love to lead me on the path of whats right. I need your touch. Oh your strong hand to slap when when i do wrong, to fix my wrongs and make them right. I am so lost Lord. So buried deep in sin. So far gone Lord... can you heal me again? I know what to do and what to say, but Lord I need you to show me the way. This path I'm walking on might be fun.. but I can't enjoy the ride. Your spirit overwelms me and I feel the guilt. I lost you so long ago, can you bring me back in? I need your strength to carry me through this place thats too far gone. I need your hand to guide me to that place that I call home. God help me, I seem to have lost my way going through this wretched world day by day. Its so easy to get caught up in what they all say. But God I need your grace now to come in and save the day. Lord I am so far gone now, how can I ever get back to what i've lost? I need your love now to hold my heart and set me free. For it was for freedom that you paid that price. For freedom that you gave your life on that cross. Please help me oh God to realize what i've done help me to follow you and forget what i've become. I love you Lord: your grace is enough to take me and fill me up. For i am nothing and you are everything!

Student Life

Umm.. wow!
I came back from student life camp in lookout mountain, Tennessee yesterday. I think i cried more this last week than i ever have. Jesus showed up in a big way in our youth group. While i was gone this summer, our youth went on a 40 day fast and prayed for their parents and family. Even though the fast is over.. our kids are still broken hearted for their parents. On the second night of worship, Chris Brooks spoke about the 2 blind men screaming without being ashamed, "Son of David, DO NOT PASS US BY!" Are we going to be the one's to let Jesus pass our parents, families, and friends by? After worship in church group time Everyone got on their knees and prayed to God for their parents. When they finished praying, mostly all of them got Brian's phone and had the boldness to call their parents and tell them they basically sucked. WOW!
It was my 7th year at camp with this church... and never have i seen something this intense! THANK YOU JESUS!

Utah

So, i am leaving for Utah in about 12 hours.... and I am too excited. I am also kinda very worried cause I am very very tired.... so Please pray for not only our mission team to be great Lights of Jesus. and for our safty but also for me to be the best Jesus i can be... and for endurance, cause like i said... i am TIRED!
Thanks!

I love His word!

So.. I know i've already written a little on this, but i feel the need to write more.... cause during my quiet time about 10 minutes ago i re-read it... and it had a little more powerfulness when i added the rest of the chapter to it... Romans 12:9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 14. Bless those who persecute you;bless and do not curse. 19. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 21. Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good. So, yea! Jesus spoke to me with this.... because i know alot of time i do not treat others better than i would treat myself..... That is food for thought numero uno. And for dos... As some of you know... i've been working at Camp ChoYeh, a christian camp in Texas. And it is HARD! It is extremly difficult to stay on track with your own spiritual track when your trying to guid kids on theirs. God has shown me alot in the past 3 weeks about myself and what i need to chill out about and what i need to get more serious about. Durring the 3rd week i was there kids actually came, and it was a new experience for me... and by the midle of the week, my spiritual tank needed to be refilled because i had been pouring out all over these kids and not really getting that much back. All i wanted to do was come home cause A. i found out i had shin splints and that was why it hurt to walk, B. I had a new car waiting on my at my house. and C. i knew my friends where having tons of fun without me. Then i remembered Brian had written in the bible he gave me for graduation a verse in Hebrews and marked it... i remembered it was encouraging.. but didnt remember what it said. When i was at a very low point God lifted my spirits and reminded me that it was all in his hands... and he had it undercontrol. God dosnt call the qualified, he qualifies the called. Hebrews 13:20 May the God of Peacewho through the blood of eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he wrok in us what is pleasing to him through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen. Also.... I am getting ready to go to Utah with my church on out mission trip that has been happening every year for the past 7 years... this will be my 4th year. but directly after i get back i have to back to Cho Yeh... and i am all stressed and worn out. and just really am second guessing all of this buisiness and all i want to do is be lazy and unpleasing to God... and just lay out all day and every day... The Devil is putting all these things in my head that actually sound alot more fun than putting up with a bunch of kids for the rest of the summer.... I decide to read my bible tonight instead of in the morning... and yesterday me and Fresh were discussing our favorite books in the bible... mine being James... i remembered i hadnt read anything from him in a while... flipped to James 1 verse 2 Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because the testinf of your faith developes perserverance. FAVORITE verse... I mean it was already my favorite verse... and its memorized... but it was shuved in the back of my head... Thank you Jesus for pulling it back to the front!

fRiEnDs

~A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17a

~Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6

~Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

These are my friends.... and I love them a whole lot!

CaLiFoRNiA

These are just a few pics from California... I was there through Easter weekend with three of my favorite people. Maranda, Megan, and Mrs. Wanda. Super funn, and great experience!

this first one is Johnny Depps hand and foot prints in LA


Beverly Hills!




the Sunset on Sunday






We spent alot of time with Mr. Kent and Brandon on this trip.... this is b4 Honey we shrunk the Audience at Disney Land.... Super Fun!




the sunset on the first day we got there. Friday evening.

The only sad thing about this trip was the fact that we didnt see a celebrity. :(

Love is Here... and Now

Today's Food for thought...

Come to the Water You who thirst, and you'll thirst no more. This water that Tenth Avenue North is referring to is not actual, water that you drink, but the kind of water that is everlasting.
Revelation 21:6
He said to me," It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.

Come to the Father you who work and you'll work no more.
John 6:27
Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval."

And all you who labor in pain, and to the broken and shamed... Love is Here, Love is Now!
This love can come from only one and True God... Jesus Christ. He loves unconditionally.
1 John 3:1
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

Love is Here by Tenth Avenue North...

Maranda Day~

Happy Birthday Ramandas! Yup... today is your birthday, and so I'm gonna say Happy Birthday!

James 4:2-4
You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to become a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.

WOW!!!!! Can I just say WOW! I mean really? Is the Bible that complicated? The way I'm seeing it, it's pretty straight forward here!
Don't be-friend the world... that's what it says....

Won't you invade my space, with you, won't you invade my mind, with thoughts of you... (5766, McLendon) This, my friends should be our cry out to God every morning before we even get out of bed...

Just a little more food for thought...

Love must be sincere

Romans 12:9
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good.

Pretty much my new favorite verse. I dont know about ya'll but seriously, thats pretty strong stuff.
In the world today it's really hard to distinguish between good and evil. (lime wire, music, television, even some of the clothes we wear) And I am, by no means, saying that I, in all areas do all things good, I mean.. I am only human, but I've really began to feel guilty about a lot of the things in my life that are evil.
Last week I chose not to go to the spring fever concert even though I had already bought the ticket, and I deleted lime wire off my computer.

Anyways... that's just some food for thought.


I will proclaim the name of the Lord. Oh, praise the greatness of our God!
Deuteronomy 32:3

the reason for the name...

When I slip and I fail, can he still feel the nails that held him to that cross... those are some of the lyrics in a song written by Justin McLendon (He and his band "McLendon" was the band for Baskins Dnow weekend). When I first heard this amazing song... I broke down before God. I dont think I ever really thought about how much it hurt this amazing man everytime I stumbled in this life. I mean, seriously we hear it so much it almost becomes like Charlie Brown's teachers and parents. But when I heard those lyrics in this song, I fell down and felt like a horrible person... and I was a leader at a D'now! But I'm pretty sure God didnt care about that... he was just happy to see that I finally listened.
So about last weekend... D'now at Baskin = great-ness! Jesus did some serious movement in that place. We didn't get a final count but about 10 people accepted Christ for the first time. It was amazing.. and I couldnt help but cry! (p.s. I dont cry alot)
The Monday after this amazing "retreat" 3 of the girls from my church led 3 of their friends at school to Jesus.
I dont know about ya'll, but I think that's freaking amazing!
Fully Alive-- cause I am... Jesus is fully alive inside of me. The only problem is, he gave us a free will, and its up to me to make the right decisions.. and make him proud. So that hopefully he wont have to constantly feel the nails in his hands.